Imposter Syndrome

What is Imposter Syndrome? 

Imposter Syndrome, otherwise known as nagging self doubt, can feel like Regina George cyberbullying you in an internet cafe. The feeling of nauseating anxiety overtakes your entire self, fearful that “everyone” will figure out you’re actually an intruder. 

Imposter syndrome is often relative to a workplace or school environment. Feeling unworthy of a promotion or proficient marks. Essentially, the fear that you are secretly out of place. However, displacement does not only exist inside of the context of your career or academia, it can be relevant to any social or occupational context. Feeling out of place, doesn’t stay in one place. 

You’re an outsider. You don’t belong here and you don’t belong with us. You’ve weasled your way into a good situation. You’re a con artist, at best. At your worst, you’ve just managed to fail upward. Everyone is going to see your failure. Now you’re humiliated. You’re a loser and it's only a matter of time until someone figures it out. 

This bleak narrative can be suffocating. Thankfully, you can still catch your breath. 

What causes imposter syndrome?   

The actual cause of imposter syndrome can vary from person to person. Some people might feel like an imposter in their workplace. Others might feel like an imposter in their relationship. The reason those environments may be triggering are specific to someone’s personal history. However, the context of the insecurity isn’t as important as the feeling itself.  

Anxiety feels like a shortness of breath. Distracted thoughts. Tensed interactions. Sweaty palms. Pins and needles. And just feeling afraid. 

Being here means something to you. And you don’t want to mess it up. You’re scared to lose a good thing. 

 What are the facts?

If you’re feeling like an imposter, it is safe to assume you are humbled by your current position in some way. Meaning, we generally feel like an imposter when we are in the presence of something we admire. Or at least, respect.

But the feeling of awe does not have to be overtaken by the stress of anxiety. You are capable of managing your nerves. And doing this can be as simple as checking the facts. 

Facts are items that function independently of how you feel about them. But it can be challenging to separate what is factual when we are distracted by fear. A way to make sure you are minding the facts is to think about the situation based only on behaviors. Something that another person could witness or is based in reality. For example: I might feel like the world is out to get me when I only get red lights during the drive home. But the fact is streetlights run on programs, and something about timing is just inconvenient for me right now. 

So when you’re feeling out of place, what are the facts? What happened to get you there? Did you submit that application? Did you take a chance and go on that date? 

Odds are, you just showed up. You did your best with what you had. And you made it. You aspired, and you got it. That’s what happened. You got the job. You got their number. You tried and you succeeded. You saw what you wanted, and you got it. You earned it. And those are the facts. 

Alright, let's pretend you really are the imposter.

So let's pretend you were dishonest. You cheated on a test. You embellished your hobbies to seem more impressive to your date. You behaved in a way that wasn’t authentic to who you are and now you have truly managed to scam your way into your current position. 

Sounds like you know how to problem solve and successfully meet expectations.

 That doesn’t mean you are inherently going to be proud of how you chose to use those skills. But, you have the skills to work around the barriers to your goals. And that is a great start. You can work on forgiving yourself and apologizing to those you may have hurt. Taking accountability is also a useful skill. Be ready to face the consequences of your actions. Because an apology is only a hollow acknowledgement, without genuine change. 

If you violated your personal morals and values to get where you are, this shows you how it feels to cross your own boundaries and damage trust in relationships. It demonstrates how to identify your comfort zone. And it can teach you how to honestly engage with others, and yourself. 

How can it actually be useful? 

Imposter syndrome is uncomfortable and unfounded. But it can still provide us with positive opportunities. 

I like to use moments of imposter syndrome as challenges for growth. If I feel incompetent or lacking knowledge, I can use it as an opportunity to learn more. I can slow down and identify what I’m missing. If I feel that I don’t know enough, I make it a point to learn more. This isn’t to be confused with internalizing the anxiety as a character trait. It is intentional development. 

 A small dose of doubt can also be termed as humility. Understanding that it isn’t enough to just get there, but continue to show up the best you can. It isn’t enough to just nail the interview, you also have to perform the duties of the position. So as you continue your journey, use those moments of doubt as motivation for your personal development. Learn the difference between self depreciation and pursuing betterment.  

Integrating skills moving forward. 

1.) Why do you feel undeserving of your current position? 

2.) Evaluate how you earned (or didn’t earn) this position. What skills can you build on? 

3.) Can you use your doubt to identify areas of improvement and personal development? 

4.) At what point do you feel competent enough? 

5.) How can you tell the difference between health criticism and self-deprecation? ‍